How many instagram posts have you seen where someone is sitting in a tub with a bath bomb, glass of wine, soft lighting, expensive candles, and a fancy hardback book? Ya, it’s a little annoying and pretty unrealistic. First of all, my drain is broken so I can’t take a bath (as much as I’d LOVE to). Secondly, there is no way I’m spending $8 to make my bath water green or pink or whatever weird color the bath bomb is. Maybe you love bath bombs or salts, ok fine, not my thing. And most annoying, who actually reads in the tub!? Maybe I’m just too clumsy, but absolutely not. That is never going to be my reality.

Self care should be just that, SELF-care. It’s about what is going to make you happy. What is going to reinvigorate your soul. Who gives a crap what it looks like to other people. To me, self care means fuzzy socks, dogs piled on the couch with me, laptop close in hand, cup after cup of tea, avocado toast, and lots of trashy tv. It’s not cute, it’s definitely not instagram worthy. But you know what, at the end of the day I feel better.

Self care also means setting yourself up for success. Have an emergency fund. Don’t over spend. Drink plenty of water. Don’t agree to things you don’t actually want to do. I know that the likelihood of me wanting to go out on a Friday night when it’s cold and raining is slim to none. So you know what? I don’t make Friday evening plans. I plan to stay home with my fur kids and watch a movie.

Similarly, my roommate would prefer to spend all weekend painting. If it were up to her, she would paint from sun up til sun down every single day. So self care to her means taking the day to hole up in her office and paint. I will bring down some mac ‘n cheese to her sometime midday, and other than that she hardly comes up for air. That is what does her soul good.

Mid-afternoon nap while it rains? Yes! Making a giant pot of soup to enjoy now and later (freezing jars for days that I don’t feel like cooking)? Yes! Getting the perfect lighting to take a picture of said soup? Not likely.

Our whole lives don’t need to revolve around the image we want to portray to the world. We need to actually take care of ourselves! Go for a run if that’s your thing. Snuggle the cat. Linger over a cup of coffee and a crossword puzzle. It really doesn’t matter to me (nor should it!) what you do, just please take care of yourself. Life is so short and moments are precious. We are not guaranteed tomorrow. So please do what you need to do to take care of yourself. And do it now. Life isn’t going to wait for anything.