Let’s just talk about what’s on all of our minds: the coronavirus which is currently taking over the world. How do we react? How are you handling it?

I’m sure you are following the news like the rest of us. Being bombarded by the media at every moment of the day. And I don’t want to add to your concern, your stress.

So I just want to say to you, we will be ok. We need to be careful, look after the ones we love. Be responsible. Look after your friends and neighbors. Make good decisions. (You probably don’t need 6 cases of toilet paper, but I’m not judging you.)

I know everyone is in a state of mild panic. Schools are closed. Businesses are closed. But there are ways to stay connected and help out our communities without causing more concern. Drop off food to a neighbor who may be in need. Take surplus food to your local food bank. Wash your hands. Stay home if you aren’t feeling well. Buy a gift card to your favorite restaurant or boutique so that they could have the funds now, while you could stay away for the time being. We are in this together.

What concerns are on your radar? What are you thinking about this weekend?

Recently I wrote about how being chronically ill adds a line to my budget and creates cost where there otherwise wouldn’t be. I think I am going to try to view this in another light.

This morning I drove to work. This means tonight I will have to pay $18 to have parked for the day. I do not love this expense, but I am choosing to see it as unavoidable. I don’t park downtown everyday as that would definitely blow my budget. But I am going to make an allowance for an average of a day a week.

Here’s the thing, Crohn’s really doesn’t care if I need to be at work at a given time. I am going to feel crummy/get an upset tummy whenever it damn well decides to. So being able to drive and park myself is a comfort that I need to account for. Not always, but some days it’s just necessary.

Today was one of those days. I had drive the past two days to work because of doctor’s appointments and not feeling well due to a delayed reaction to my iron infusion. So I bit the bullet and just drove to work. Could I have survived the train ride? Probably. But did I want to risk an incident on public transportation when I really wasn’t feeling well? Definitely not. So I drove. And I paid to park. And I’ll do it again tonight.

It’s annoying but necessary. It is definitely NOT frugal. However, as someone with a chronic illness, there is really no way around it. I will continue to do my best and take the train to work as many days as possible. Some weeks I manage to take it every single day. Some weeks it’s just not going to happen, and this was one of those weeks.

So instead of beating myself up over it, I decided to account for it in my budget. That way, I know it’s coming, and I know I will have the money for it.

These little changes can go a long way towards a budget and goals. If I take into account that I may need to spend $18 a week or so on parking, I will be mindful of that extra spending and account for it elsewhere. It’s not perfect, but it’s what will work for me. Living with this illness is a constant struggle and learning curve. I am working on figuring out what is best for me, and this is just another piece of the puzzle.

I have not always been practically frugal. I was definitely that kid who earned ten bucks and had spent it within the hour. Lip gloss, hair clips, you name it. I was not so great at saving up for something big. But I got better with practice, as is most things. I saved up for my spending money on a trip to Spain with classmates. Each summer in college I worked a full time job so I could have money during the year to eat out and buy clothes. But it takes practice.

I paint this picture as a way of saying that I’m not so great at being frugal. I have to really try and think about my actions, and try hard to see the big picture.

While I truly enjoy cooking at home and making meals from scratch, sometimes I just don’t plan well (as was the case yesterday when I left the house for an early doctor’s appointment before work, totally forgetting to take ANY food with me. I was away from home until 9pm). This meant that I had to pick up lunch AND dinner out if I had any interest in actually eating for the day. Oops. If I had really thought about it I would have packed double the food the night before so all I should have had to do was grab my lunch bag. But alas, that’s now how it went. And I ended up spending about $18 on food yesterday. Ugh.

All this brings me to my question: can you be frugal with a chronic illness? A chronic illness in and of itself is not frugal. Even with insurance, doctor’s visits, medication (over the counter and prescription), therapists for the inevitable feelings of isolation and depression, special diet, it all adds up, and fast!

This is not to say there aren’t ways to be frugal while living with chronic illness, but I certainly think it’s more difficult and takes additional planning.

Let’s take food, for instance. I have a very finicky diet and can’t eat a lot of things. This means I have to stick to a strict shopping list. And if I don’t have those foods on hand, I am far more likely to order out for something I can eat. Granted, this usually means I am ordering plain noodles, rice or soup. But this still comes with a delivery fee if nothing else. So that adds up. And if i’m out with friends I need to remember to take my own food with me lest I end up buying food out simply because I can’t find something to eat wherever we are.

Many people with chronic illness find themselves home more often than their “healthy” counter parts. We may earn less simply because we can’t put in as many hours at work. So we are at a disadvantage to begin with.

Let’s also take into consideration last minute doctor’s appointments. I may run out the door to get to an appointment and realize my dogs are going to be left unattended now for 12 hours. So I’ll hop on an app and have to pay someone to walk my dogs during the day. (My roommate and I are on opposite schedules so that theoretically the dogs are only crated for about 4 hours a day.) Or I get to work only to realize that what I packed to eat that day simply isn’t going to work for my tummy that day (Crohnies, you know what I’m talking about). So I need to figure something else out. The frugal solution would be to keep rice and other shelf stable items in my desk. But honestly, I just forget sometimes!

Here’s the thing, I’m not perfect. No one is perfect. But I think there are definite barriers for those of us with chronic illnesses that make frugality even more challenging. I have friends with Celiac disease who struggle with their food budget because gluten free can be a challenge in today’s highly processed world. Even if they were to buy solely fresh produce, that adds up quickly!

Most importantly, let’s not judge anyone simply for not being “frugal enough” for some random standard. We are all trying our best to keep ourselves fed and healthy, and doing so as frugally as possible.

I started a new job three weeks ago. I am helping people navigate the healthcare system and get the care they need.

I am bored to tears.

This is not the job I signed up for.

You see, animal welfare is HARD. It has a tendency to take the best of us and chew us up, then spit us out. Shells of our former selves. Tired and emotionally drained we look for a steady paycheck that won’t kill our souls. But I will wanted to help my community. That’s how I find myself on the third floor of a major healthcare company based here in Portland, surrounded by perfectly lovely people, bored to tears.

It’s one of those cool, fancy companies that has a fancy salad bar in the lobby, kombucha on tap, shuffle board on every floor, giant Jenga. It’s a beautiful building, clean working spaces, everyone seems to be friendly and kind. And yet, I feel like I don’t fit in. That I may never fit here.

When I get stressed out, I am used to going into the next room and curling up on the floor with a cat to calm my nerves. I am used to having an office dog. So, understandably, I feel a little out of sorts here. Not just because there aren’t critters running about the office, but that what we are doing has NOTHING to do with animals. And what I am doing is quite frankly dull. I am not cut out to be a concierge service (which is basically what we are doing).

See, I thought taking a job that I was simply ok with would be good for my mental state. I fear I was way off the mark. Not only is it not stimulating, but it’s boring! It isn’t something that I care about. And though I’m trying to find the joy, I just don’t know how I can continue to do this long-term.

Something I need to keep reminding myself, is that this is only temporary. It’s a 3 month contract. When that’s up we will discuss the potential for hiring me on full time with the company. Nothing is set in stone.

Deep breath in. Deep breath out.

I want to love my work. I have spent 15 years loving at least SOME part of my job. Loving my coworkers, our mission, the animals. The idea of doing a job simply for a paycheck is completely foreign to me. I am doing the job to the best of my ability, but I don’t necessarily feel like I’m moving any mountains. I’m stuck. I am struggling.

I want to make a difference and change the world. It doesn’t have to be big and loud or in your face. I honestly prefer to fly under the radar. But I still want to DO something.

So where does this leave me? I’m not entirely sure honestly. I will continue to show up on time, do my job to the best of my ability, and just TRY. I will try to do what I can do be a positive in my community. I will do what I can. And I will receive a paycheck. A paycheck that will pay my rent, and for my dog food and groceries. And I will keep an eye out for something that will truly fulfill me. Because not everything is meant to last forever, and not every job is going to be your dream job. Sometimes, you just gotta do it.

Ya’ll, this is way easier than you think. And came together with ingredients I had on hand. I was trying to figure out what to make for dinner tonight, but I didn’t want to do anything fancy, and I had a few ingredients in my fridge I wanted to use up.

Here’s what you will need:

• extra firm tofu
• frozen veggies
• rice (can be a few days old or fresh, I used two cups uncooked and made fresh rice as there was none in the fridge already cooked
• soy sauce, turmeric, salt and pepper, sesame oil, garlic powder, vegan butter or oil

First you have to mash up the block of tofu. I used a fork to break it into pieces, then used a potato masher to really get the job done. Think little tiny pieces. I dusted it with turmeric, salt and pepper and garlic powder, and mixed it all up. This makes the tofu LOOK like egg (that matters to some people) but doesn’t do a whole lot in regards to the taste.

Next, add the vegan butter to the pan along side the tofu. You want to give the tofu a few minutes to brown up in some spots. Move the tofu to one side of the pan and add the rice. Toss in any frozen or fresh veggies you want.

Next I added a SMALL drizzle of sesame oil (it has a strong taste so you really don’t need much) and a hearty addition of soy sauce. Mix it all up and let it sit while cooking for a few minutes, stir up and let sit again. This will allow little bits to get browned and yummy.

That’s literally it. It was so easy. And so stinking tasty. It makes enough to have a few meals now and store some in the freezer for another night when I don’t feel cooking. (I kinda got lax about making freezer dinners this winter. Normally by now my chest freezer is full of soups and stews and other things so that I don’t have to make them during the warm summer months. This year it looks like I’ll need to keep batch cooking thorough the spring to fill my freezer to where I’d like it to be.)