frugal

I’m taking a temporary break from social media

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Today is Day One of my social media break. I am initially planning a week, to test the waters. Why am I doing this? I’m glad you asked!

First of all I want to make one thing clear, I think social media can be fantastic and has it’s place in society. It allows us to find long lost friends and relatives, track down items we might otherwise struggle to find, see the far corners of the world, and so many other things. Through social media I can watch my friends’ kids grow up across the country. I can have an authentic Moroccan tagine sent to my house. I can order out of print records from the UK in the 70s. It would be far more difficult to do those things without social media. (I realize the internet is a big part of all those things, but I tend to go in Instagram or Facebook for things before searching Google.)

But there is also a side of social media that I don’t love. It puts a microscope lens on the lives of strangers. We see carefully curated images designed to sell us products, lifestyles and more. Even minimalist instagram accounts make me want to buy things. It makes me think my house is too cluttered, my kitchen too messy, my wardrobe outdated. It makes me feel like I don’t travel enough, I don’t read enough, I don’t know enough about anything. And are those things true? No! I like my life, and though I can certainly take inspiration from the images I see, I don’t need to adapt my life to fit those ideals.

The main thing I want to work on is spending associated with social media. Between videos of Pudge the Pit and pictures of foster kittens, I always manage to see products that I’d love to have in my home. Streamlined kitchen cabinets. Rose wine for the picnic in the park. Plaid shirts and overalls. Even sweaters for my dog! I see these beautiful images and can’t help but think how those products would benefit me in some way. And am I guilty of giving into that temptation? Of course! Jethro has 2 winter sweaters if that is any indicator.

Do I need the pretty things I see on social media? Probably not. But they are beautiful and perfect and curated to make me want to buy them. It’s called being an Influencer (yep, it’s a real job!) And because of this (ok it’s one of the reasons, but not the only reason) I have decided to take a break from social media. I’m going to take a week off. Anytime I am bored and find myself trying to scroll through pretty pictures, I will read some of my book. I have a book on me at all times anyway! Might as well read more. If nothing else I will make a dent in my reading list. I am already starting to realize what a time suck it is!

So for now I have uninstalled Facebook and Instagram on my phone. I am halfway through a book today alone! And I am VERY self aware as to how much time I spend on my phone. I am going to actually connect with people. I’ll call, text, email, get together with people. I may not be getting rid of technology all together, but a baby step is a start! And I’m sure it will be enlightening.

I will keep you updated this week as to how it’s going!

On kids and frugality

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I don’t have kids, and I probably won’t ever have kids. But you know what? I’m okay with that. Literally every source in the world says I will change my mind. They all say “oh but you’ll never know love until you become a mother” or “being a mother is the greatest job in the world”. Agree to disagree.

To all the mothers out there: You are a badass. You are such an incredible human, I am so impressed. Being a mom is the hardest job in the world, and you don’t get nearly enough credit. That being said, I don’t think everyone is cut out to be a mom. Kids are a lifelong commitment, literally. An entire lifetime. Have you ever noticed that if someone says they don’t plan on having kids other people say “Are you sure? That’s such a life changing decision? Maybe think about it a little longer and you’ll change your mind.” But when someone says they are planning on having kids “oh that’s great, fantastic!” Shouldn’t we place the same weight on the consideration either way? It always seemed so backwards to me! Kids are a lifetime! Not having kids can literally change anytime! But I digress….

Let me just say, kids are expensive! We aren’t talking a negligible amount of money here. I am talking hundreds of thousands of dollars (rough estimate, on raising a kid to 18). Though I realize that many kids rely on parental assistance for many years past their 18th birthday, so that number can definitely be higher. For someone who might be on the fence about having kids, the financial responsibility should really be considered. It has always boggled my mind that people think having kids is no big deal, it’s a HUGE deal! Diapers alone!

So are kids a frugal life choice? I think there are a couple of ways we can look at this. The short answer: no. Why? Medical cost of pregnancy and having the baby, diapers, food, a home big enough for a child, daycare, school, clothes, medical costs, extra curricular, insurance, the list goes on! All of those things cost money. If someone doesn’t have kids, they will have none of those costs.

That being said, if someone does choose to have kids, I think it can be done frugally. I think there are ways to raise a child without going way overboard on your spending. I also think people should do their research before having kids as to the cost of what they are taking on. Not only are you taking on the responsibility of raising a HUMAN CHILD, but it’s not cheap!

So do kids and frugality go together? It depends on how you look at it I guess. To each their own!

Frugality is a privilege

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I took a little bit of a blogging break to benefit my health. I needed a break from some things. I needed a chance to grieve. But I’m starting to break out of my funk, and blogging really is something I enjoy.

So today I want to talk about frugality as a privilege versus out of necessity. What’s the difference and why does it matter? I’m getting there!

There is a difference between clipping coupons because you want to save a few dollars here and there to add to your vacation fun, and using coupons because you only have $18 to your name and you need to feed your family. It’s glaringly different. I don’t point this out to make anyone feel bad about being frugal, but I think people need to recognize that they experience some amount of privilege if they are being frugal by choice.

I am incredibly lucky in that I was raised in a comfortable home, physically and financially. My family always had enough money, and never wanted for anything. That meant my mom never had to clip coupons, and could pick up whatever she wanted at the store. There was no worry that she couldn’t afford the items in her cart. This allows me to recognize that when I choose to be frugal, it’s not born out of necessity. If I am ever really truly struggling financially, I always have the option of reaching out to family for support. Do I want to do this? Of course not! But they will never let me fall all the way down.

There are many people however, who are not nearly as lucky. Many people really only have $30 in their bank account, and so they are frugal because they have no choice. Why do I point this out? Not to judge or shame anyone. But to bring it to light that we shouldn’t judge anyone for being frugal or not. Each person has the right to choose how they want to spend or save their money. We can be helpful and offer advice, but it’s really not our place to judge.

I think we need to be a more inclusive community. No one is perfect, so let’s not judge others for not doing something “right”. What’s right for you might not be right for me. I try to be frugal with my money because I have 3 rather expensive pets, that require frequent expensive vet visits. So I clip coupons and try to buy the brand name products whenever possible. I don’t eat out often. I don’t buy things I don’t need. I use the library. But all of this, is also born from privilege. It’s a privilege to have these three animals in my life. Not everyone would be able to afford them on a regular basis.

I recognize this is a sensitive subject for many people. So let’s just be kind to one another. Let’s just listen and help one another. You never know what someone is going through.

“Snow” day

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Today Portland Public Schools, and other nearby school districts, called it a snow-day and the kids were released early. Portland weather can be so finicky. In the morning it seems like it’s going to be nasty but by noon it’s mostly melted, turned to slush. And that’s exactly what happened today. But the schools have to err on the side of caution after the disasters of previous years.

So what did I do for my snow day?

I stayed home, and watched X-Files with my dogs. We had leftovers for breakfast, and generally putzed around. I cleaned (a lot) and it was nice. It was quiet and peaceful and lovely. And the best part? It was free.

Sometimes the best things in life are free, the song said so right? And today was exactly that. I rested, and feel refreshed.

What do you do to enjoy a snow day?

What do you eat?

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Let me first say that I’m not going to tell you what to eat. I firmly believe that different individuals eat different diets, and most people know what is the right diet for them. That being said, I think things change. I think people change and sometimes their diets change too.

I have tried many different diets over the years. Not for weight loss, but because of my Crohn’s Disease.I have typically stayed with the low residue diet. Meaning, I mostly eat rice, bread, potatoes, and other foods that are easily digestible. It makes getting the proper nutrients a bit of a challenge, but I am doing what I need to keep my guts happy.

For many years I was a vegetarian, though never have I eaten much meat at all, and I was vegan for a period of time. I have also tried cutting out types of foods (gluten for example) with little to no success.

I always follow my Doctor’s instructions, and will do whatever I need to take care of my health.

Recently, my roommate and I watched the documentary What The Health on Netflix. It was so eye opening and interesting. One of the doctors interviewed was a leading Gastroenterologist. He said that a number of his patients had seen a positive outcome from switching to a plant based (vegan) diet. Cutting out animal products all together (which lead to inflammation) was very helpful to the individuals. I figured, it couldn’t hurt to try, right?

I would have to be very careful, as raw fruits and vegetables are very difficult for me to digest. But I am willing to try. I am willing to see how it goes.

So Rachel and I are each taking baby steps each week to cup out animal products, so that will soon be entirely vegan. We are very excited about our journey and I will keep you updated on our progress.

I will not tell anyone they have to try this diet for themselves. I firmly believe that if I or anyone tells someone they HAVE to do it, they definitely will not. I know that’s how I am. But I do recommend watching the documentary. Educate yourself. It’s very interesting.

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(It may be very boring to some, but this was my  first attempt at a few dishes for us this weekend. On the right is vegan chili which was a big hit! And on the left we have Aloo Matar, an Indian dish of potatoes and peas in a tomato curry sauce. Also very yummy!)

On top of my health reasons, many people go vegan for the cost saving benefits. I will dive into the savings aspect in an upcoming post. So I ask you again, what do you eat?

Shopping Habits

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Let me just start by saying that I love shopping. Grocery shopping, shoe shopping, pet supply shopping, all of it.  I love comparing prices and item quality. I 100% get this from my mom. When I was little, most Saturday mornings were spent at Nordstrom with Debbie, my mom’s personal shopper. She would have racks and racks of clothes for my mom to try on. I would sit on the little pedestal, coloring book in hand, and watch my mom come out in outfit after outfit. Deciding what she loved and what she didn’t.

It was my favorite thing to do with my mom. I got all her attention, and the clothes were beautiful. Not to mention the sweet ladies at Nordstrom would always bring me some kind of yummy treat to enjoy.

I realize of course that this is not a normal childhood experience. I know how fortunate my family was financially, and how incredibly lucky I was to have such a secure childhood. Regardless, this is one of my favorite memories of my mom. I didn’t get to spend lots of time with her during the week (she was and will always be a #girlboss) so weekend mornings were treasured.

ALL THAT being said, I realize that shopping is something I associate with wonderful Mom time. Even going to Trader Joe’s for cucumbers makes me think about that quality time. So now, when I’m lonely or bored, I want to shop.

It’s not even a conscious thing. I get distracted at work and look on Madewell’s website. Or I pull up Amazon on my phone while I’m waiting in line somewhere. The stuff doesn’t bring me joy, the shopping for it does. I know I am not the only one who feels this way. I asked my friends, and more than a couple of them also buy things not because they really need (or even want) the things, but because the act of looking and comparing and purchasing brings them joy.

Why am I telling you this? Because I am all about accountability. I am way more likely to stick to something if I have someone that is keeping an eye on me. I tell my roommate EVERYTHING so that she can keep me set on my goals. I am way better if someone is looking out for me too.

What about you? are you more into the shopping itself, or the stuff?  (there are btw, MANY articles on the subject, I’ll do a post on that soon)

Money Diary: What I learned

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So I spent an entire week tracking every cent that I spent. What did I learn? Quite a lot actually!

I don’t realize how many times I go to the store for just one thing, and come out with three or more. As much as I try to do just one big trip per week, there are always going to be a few things that I want to get fresh the day of. Think, fresh baked bread, salmon fillets etc. Well, each time I go in I end up coming out with more than just the one item. Ok not ALWAYS, but usually. Oh I forgot I need cheese, or bandaids, or chocolate. So instead of $2 it ends up being $11 or more. And if I do this three time a week, that’s $30 that I wasn’t planning on spending! I am going to try to be better about doing one shopping trip a week, and staying within that budget. I think that’ll really help trim a few bucks.

I never really think about bill paying. Let me explain. I pay my $300 vet bill (for example) but then when I look at my bank account I don’t know where the money went. Yes I’m paying down a bill, but it doesn’t feel the same for some reason.

Eating out adds up. I mean I know we all know this. But I never think about it because I really don’t eat out that often. But even two times in one week was over $20. And ya sometimes things come up, and we all go out. Ok, not the end of the world.

Keeping track helps. When I was writing down each penny I spent, I was a lot more aware. I didn’t want the internet to know that I spent money on X, Y, or Z so I didn’t spend it. And that helped! It goes back to accountability for me I think.

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All in all I would definitely say this was a great experience. I recommend everyone try it for some period of time. That being said, I also learned that a total spending freeze isn’t always practical for everyone. I do however think small blocks of time are good. A day? A  week? Try small. A month was almost feasible for me, and I have successfully done it before. But a few small things tripped me up. And I let it go. I didn’t want to feel like I had failed. And that’s okay!

Have you ever tried tracking your every penny? I recommend you try it some time. You might actually learn something about yourself!

Money Diary: Day Seven

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6:50 AM – Up and exhausted. I never sleep well and so early mornings are not my favorite thing. I walk the dogs, feed them, and put on some coffee. I stumble back upstairs and snuggle with the cat for an hour, forgetting the coffee. Balls.

8:15 AM – Remember the coffee so head back downstairs. I enjoy a cup while doing some minor adulating (laundry and finishing dishes). Then I hop in the shower.

10:30 AM – Head out the door for some errands. Get gas at Costco $15.51. I pick up a prescription and run a few other boring errands. I am supposed to meet a guy for tea at 1pm so I want to get my stuff done before then.

1:00 PM – I get to the tea shop for my date. $2.50 for a cup of peppermint tea. The date is a bit of a dud but no harm no foul.

3:00 PM – I arrive at my friend’s house to check on her. I snag her car keys so I can go pick up her son from daycare. I try to pick him up a couple times a week and I love my afternoons with him. He is such a sweet little man! He will be three next month and the light of my life. When I walk into his classroom he says gasps “MoMo!” melt my heart! In the car he tells me “I love your beautiful nails MoMo!” I can’t make this up! He is such a love! We go to get frozen yogurt, or as he calls it Candy Ice Cream. $5.40 (I may have gotten him way more than he can eat.)

5:00 PM – We head back to his house to check on Mom and Dad. I drop him off and head back home, heart full of love.

6:00 PM – I get home and have some bread and cheese for dinner.

7:00 PM – I talk to one of my closest friends from college who is getting married this summer. I need to start looking at flights and places to stay. It’s not going to be a cheap trip (they are getting married in Lake Tahoe in July) so I need to start planning now.

9:00 PM – Dogs out for one last walk and off to bed!

Total Spent: $22.41

Money Diary: Day Six

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6:45 AM – Up and at ‘em. Walk the dogs, and because I am not working on anything time sensitive, try to go back to sleep for a bit.

7:30 AM – One of my dogs is definitely not into resting this morning, so we get up and go for another walk. I make a piece of toast, and watch a little morning news.

9:30 AM – Head to Winco for a few things I need to pick up. I get cat food, avocados, yogurt, crackers, frozen mangos and hash browns. $21.30

 10:30 AM – Groceries in tow I head over to my best friend’s house. We watch silly TV and discuss our weekends. For lunch, we heat up random things found in her fridge.

12:15 PM – Bestie’s Hubby comes home and we watch the Assassination of Gianni Versace. Very good!

3:30 PM – I head to Safeway and Trader Joe’s to get a couple airplane snacks for my trip this coming Saturday. $17.60

 4:30 PM – Back home, I walk my dogs and put the food away. I eat a snack plate of hummus, olives, pita chips, carrots and cucumbers. It will keep me full until dinner.

6:00 PM – Bread and goat cheese. I’m an adult, that counts as dinner, right?

9:15 PM – Roommate and I decide to book our trip to San Diego before bed. The total comes out to $430 and she will pay me for her ticket later so my total is $215

9:45 PM – Off to bed!

Total spent: $243.90

Money Diaries: Day Five

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7:20 AM – Come on guys! It’s Sunday! Do we really have to get up this early on a weekend!? I walk the dogs and feed them and head back to bed. I don’t actually get much more sleep because the dogs are so fussy this morning, so we roll out of bed around 8:30 for a second time.

8:45 AM – I make some toast and drink a glass of water. I decide to take a shower because I am not sure what my day is going to look like. I have friends coming over this afternoon and I want to get to Winco if there is time.

9:00 AM – I get a text from my bestie that she isn’t feeling well today, so I tentatively decide not to do anything important today in case she needs me to pick up her little one. We discuss me keeping her company tomorrow and picking up her little boy on Tuesday. Ok, now I can shower.

10:30 AM – Finish drying my hair and doing a few adult things (dishes, laundry etc.) Roommate and her man go out to breakfast and offer to bring coffee home for me (I’m out of creamer) Yes please!

10:45 AM – I put on the record from last night (SYML) and pick up my book. I am about 2/3 through it and I know it is going to break my heart. But I love the story so much so I settle in for the rest of the book.

11:15 AM – (Home with coffee) Still reading, heart breaking.

1:15 PM – I finish the book. I’m sobbing and covered in snot, total hot mess. I love this story so much. I wash my face and drink a glass of water. I’m exhausted (emotionally) and decide to take a nap until my friends come over.

2:00 PM – Do you have a cat? Cats are the most wonderful creatures, mine loves to snuggle and literally be on my face at all times. This however doesn’t allow for good napping conditions. I settle for bed rest and flipping through Instagram.

2:20 PM – My friends call to tell me they are on the train and should arrive in an hour. Suddenly feeling my lack of food, but they mentioned wanting to get Mexican food so I don’t want to eat anything until they get here.

3:30 PM – I walk the dogs. Because of the weekend schedule (apparently) the train my friends are on stopped a few stations too soon and is turning around. So, they get off the train and call for me to pick them up. Ok, off we go.

3:45 PM – We swing by the house to pick up Roomie and head to a new restaurant.

4:00 PM – We devour the chips and salsa and all order yummy food. We split dinner 4 ways and my portion comes to $11.50

 5:00 PM – Thoroughly stuffed, we head home to watch a movie. We pick The Big Sick (go see it!) and all hang out on the couch.

7:45 PM – It was a great movie, everyone loved it. My friends decide to call a Lyft to get home, as the train is going to take an hour.

8:15 PM – Roommate watches something on TV while I walk the dogs and read some blogs. I am exhausted from being up so late, and the emotional rollercoaster of the book I read this morning (is this just something that happens to me?  I get so caught up in a story that it literally exhausts me.)

9:00 PM – I think I’m going to head to bed early tonight. It’s going to be a very busy week and I’d like to start off on the right foot.

Total spent: $11.50