The importance of female role models

As mentioned in yesterday’s post, I don’t have kids and I don’t plan on having kids. For many years I went back and forth, considering adoption and the possibility of being childless. Did I really want kids? Or did society tell me I wanted kids? I think my mom would make the most amazing grandma, but is that a reason for me to have kids? Really?

Here’s the thing, I am a great Auntie. I love to spoil my friends’ kids with love and goodies. I love to take them to the park and the pool, to the beach and the movies. But at the end of the day I can give them back! I will always treasure my time with the little ones, but that doesn’t mean I should have my own. It means I can give the parents some time off to be adults while giving the kids lots of extra love.

One thing that I always think about is the relationship I have with my mom. My mom is my best friend. I tell her everything. I love my relationship with her more than anything in the world. And I love the idea of having that with a child of my own. But NOTHING will ever compare to her.

I think of all the amazing women in my life, and more and more I am seeing women choosing to not have kids. About half my friends (within 10 years of my age) have kids, and half do not. When I think of the older women in my life, almost all of them do not have kids. And maybe that’s why I gravitate towards them. They show me so much love and support and we have amazing relationships. I can be them someday! I don’t need children to guarantee love and support as I grow older. I am confident that I will be surrounded by loved ones, a family I chose for myself.

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